Relax & Be Yourself

Belonging and acceptance. We all crave both these things. Sometimes, especially in high school, we will stray away from ourselves, be and act as someone who we are not. But how do we know who we are? We don't always know and that is okay. Life is about learning and finding out who we are.

I dreamt a dream recently. I was with many of my peers. Everyone was excitedly talking about this new party coming up. Before I knew it, they were all gone, off to the party. I made my way to what I found to be was a big ten story yellow Victorian house; the kind you see in downtown San Jose.

As I looked at this house, I saw hundreds of teenagers through the windows, all with a glazed look on their faces. It was if they were under a sort of spell. Their eyes murky and distant.

There were tons and tons of people in line outside of the door yearning to get in. Suddenly, there was a voice that came onto a loudspeaker coming from the house.

He said, "Each level of this house is a level to a different party, but it is on the top floor that is the coolest. Whoever gets to the top is the best and will be the best. These are the people you will look up to or be looked up at." The crowd of young people cheered and raised bottles to their mouths; excited for the challenge. I was determined to get to the top.

Not because of what I heard it will do to you, but because I wanted to understand what it meant. What was so great about reaching the top of this house? Why did it matter? I climbed each level of the house, passing tons of people.

Finally, I opened a door that would lead me out onto the roof. I had reached the top.

There, on the top of this huge yellow house, where there was supposed to be the wildest, coolest, and greatest people, there was nothing. The air was full of emptiness.

I looked around, confused. Once again, I heard the same male voice on a loudspeaker.

”Fools! You really thought that making it to the top of a house party would gain you anything? That it would somehow make you a better person than everyone else? A cooler person?

”It is not about who you hang out with, what you wear, how cool people perceive you, but it is about who you are as a person, and how you see yourself. That is what matters."

After I heard these words, I jumped off the roof. I felt myself falling away from all the superficiality that I would not be apart of.

This dream is symbolic to all that we do when it comes to fitting in. We sometimes get lost in who or what we are supposed to be. Following the crowd is easy. Being yourself can be very difficult.

In fact, we can feel vulnerable when we are our true selves. Letting someone see who you are is hard.

I hear tons of people everyday say things about themselves such as, "Oh that was ugly" right after they laughed a real laugh. Or "Ew" right after they expressed themselves through a dance or movement.

We don't want to be ourselves because what if someone doesn't like who we are? Well, then you should not be friends or associate with that person or those people.

When you're being your truest self, you will attract people who truly will want to be your friend, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend or anyone else.

But when you hide who you are under what you think you should be, it blocks us from discovering the best of ourselves and others.

But once we accept ourselves for who we are, we can let go of everything else. We can experience the joy of feeling free in our skin. And eventually the love we feel for ourselves.

~Aiyana