Energy Vampires
Have you ever been in someone's company and left feeling completely drained? I call these people energy vampires. An energy vampire is a person who takes energy from someone else, without giving any energy in return. Someone who sucks energy can do it both consciously and unconsciously.
Some common examples of people sucking energy are:
Hogging the microphone.
People who only want to talk about themselves, interrupt you, and seem disinterested in what you have to say are selfishly sucking your energy. If you find yourself in this situation, know that it is okay to interrupt the interrupter. You can state that you would like to finish your thought, story, etc. But keep in mind that this person may not want to hear what you have to say. In this case, it’s best to disconnect from them. The relationship has hit a dead end.
2. Emotional dumping.
This can be a part of someone hogging the mic as well. People who only share stressful, depressing, and negative information with you are not in your best interest. The person dumping is seeking someone to hold space for them without giving anything in return. When this happens, we should remind ourselves that we are not our peers or even our friends, and family members' therapists.
There is a big difference between an energy vampire and someone who is just having a bad day. A person, especially someone you are not very close with, should ask permission before venting to you. If you say yes, wonderful. But as you listen and feel you actually cannot hold space for someone anymore, you can always change your mind; even if you had previously said yes. The person venting should respect this and stop. If you say no and they still circle their way back to dumping on you, red flag! Boundaries are set for a reason and if people cannot respect them, best to let them go and keep it moving.
3. One-sided relationships.
People who do not put any effort into your relationship - romantic or platonic - are often disinterested in connecting with you or just want attention without doing any work. If someone is not making an effort to talk, spend time, or listen to you, and you feel drained when you’re with them, then this person is sucking your energy. It’s best to acknowledge this behavior for what it is and know that it probably will not change any time soon. It's time to let this person go.
You may have noticed that all three of these examples overlap.
Examples of how an energy vampire can impact you personally:
Feeling mentally and/or physically drained and uncomfortable
Feeling trapped/an obligation to listen to someone
Feeling unheard
Frustrated & Anxious
More examples of energy vampires qualities:
Gossips/loves drama
Narcissistic
Egotistical
Insecure
Selfish
Even if we like someone, it's important to recognize their unhealthy and energy-sucking tendencies to keep ourselves safe. Our energy is precious, and it is not our responsibility to hold space for those who do not deserve it. Relationships and connections are two-way streets. Both parties must meet each other halfway. That is what makes up a healthy exchange of energy. We are never obligated to show kindness, care, and love to those who take advantage of it. However, I still believe we should be as polite as the situation calls for.
Also, remember that you have the right to block out people who impact you negatively. It is okay to stop taking their calls, returning their texts, and spending time with them. Pull yourself back. You deserve to be surrounded by uplifting people who positively impact you. You should feel good after spending time with someone.And for those of us who are in close relationships with people who suck our energy, it can be hard to let them go. But ask yourself, would you rather sacrifice their happiness or your well-being?People can change for the better but if you are only hearing the talk, and not seeing the walk, it's best to remove them from your life.
If you’re interested in receiving further guidance to help break patterns of attracting energy vampires, how to handle an energy vampire currently in your life, or developing the tools to disconnect from close yet emotionally unbalanced relationships, I offer intuitive card readings to help with this. In these readings, I connect with your Spiritual Family - your spirit guides- and the Angels to give you the wisdom that is specifically aided for you and your life. Your guides are here to help you and my job is to clearly and simply deliver the information they have for you.
I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day (:
With love,
Aiyana Flores and The Angels